i’ve spent a lot of time telling myself i would write something for this section. i left notes on my desk and would prep on my walk home from work. when the window was open to sit down and write something, i would find just about anything else to do instead.

i don’t think this is uncommon. it’s a lot of fun spending time in your mind. it seems to scratch that same itch as actually doing something.

when i zoom out, i notice that i tend to do this song and dance for a lot of parts of my life. what i have taken away from it all is that keeping things in my mind is the warmest of the security blankets i can lay on myself.

i spend a lot of time thinking about thinking about things. why keep it in this constant state of incompleteness?

i am very guilty of comparing my first draft (or maybe the pre first draft in my head) to others final drafts. i do it with writing. i definitely do it with music. i’ve seen how illogical this line of thinking is. i’ve told myself countless times that this isn’t how the process works. not many people can sit down and produce a completed work on their first pass. i’m sure some do, but i am not one of those people and i need to let go of that idea. the result is my brain trying to juggle a whole bunch of half-baked ideas that never go anywhere.

ever hear someone tell you their great idea? in my experience, those great ideas usually stay in the person’s head and only come out when they need to satisfy that feeling that they’ve completed something. i have definitely been that person.

i wonder where that comes from. i can only speak for myself but i believe it’s a fear of commitment. committing to an idea can be intimidating. finally choosing a direction for something feels like there’s no turning back. maybe that would be true if i was sitting down with a pen and paper with limited supplies of both. the digital age is pretty sweet.

maybe if i didn’t get so ahead of myself and just focused on sitting down, writing, and letting my brain stretch out and flex a bit i would actually get better at writing and not be so discouraged. multiple passes at something isn’t a bad thing.

i love analogies and even though i’m not a gym person, i think going to gym to work out is a great one. if you go to the gym once a month and expect to look ripped, you’re going to have a rough time and eventually give up. you get out what you put in. yes, there are some people who are naturally strong and don’t need to go as much and still look ripped. that’s life though. the sooner you can let go of how unfair that is, the sooner you will be able to refocus on yourself and what you’re doing to make yourself better.

it’s never easy to change the way you think. the brain will seek the path of least resistance. don’t let it. get those ideas down on paper. set aside some time for the things that you love and give yourself to them.

don’t procrastinate.