i must admit, i got pretty lazy updating this website. it has always been my intention to post my photography and other creative projects on here. i haven’t been very good at that. i was skimming through my journal and noticed i had done entries on the 31st for the past few years reviewing my year. i thought it would be fun to go through everything i worked on this year.
after spending time wading through all the song ideas and the 456 film photos i took, i came to a realization. i struggle a lot with creative drought. i spent most of 2019 feeling like i wasn’t producing enough.
i had zero deadlines.
looking back, i was leveling up a lot. i think what happened to me was once i hit my first goal i didn’t spend time appreciating my accomplishment. instead i pushed forward onto whatever was next. as the year went on i think my sense of producing creative ideas was pretty wonky. my expectations had shifted but i hadn’t acknowledged that. i was putting this phantom pressure on myself to always be creating.
i got pretty low over the summer and didn’t make much. looking back i see a summer that was filled with adventure. i made great memories during that time.
i guess what i’m rambling about is this: it’s great to want to constantly improve but don’t let it consume you.
i’m really excited for 2020. i recently acquired some new synthesizers and midi controllers. i’m going to push myself out of my musical comfort zone more often and really take the time to assess if i’m challenging myself correctly.
below are two sections. they are my 2019 reviews in sound and film. they’re collections of music and photos that i made and took this year that make me feel good. they might not be my best work but each one selected means something to me.
here’s to a creatively fulfilling 2020!
2019 in sound
2019 in film
the last thing i want to say about 2019 was being able to perform a song i wrote at my companies talent show. the year prior i had teased myself with the idea of maybe performing a cover but chickened out. i had a great group of friends in my corner throughout the entire process. i was lucky enough to have someone record the whole performance on video.
i am eternally grateful to all of my friends who took the time to learn the song and be on stage with me to perform it. i’m also lucky that my friend blake made gorgeous visuals to go with the performance. it took a lot of work and it came out great.